EQ elevated to IQ

Sitting down to write this month’s post – which happens to be on emotional intelligence – and my stomach is in knots over an argument I had with my daughter. While my small self will permit me to acknowledge that misery loves company – and take comfort knowing our household was not alone enduring heightened stress during the holidays – my larger self feels emotionally shattered in the aftermath of one of the worst school shootings in US history.

God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Is there a relationship between everyday conflict and murder? Though we will never know for certain the complexity of factors that prompted a young man to brutally gun down dozens of innocent children and teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut on December 14th, 2012, we do know there is a high correlation between issues of social alienation and mass murders. 

So while some adults attempt to distance themselves from this most recent tragedy by avoiding headlines, and others cite evil forces or guns as the source of violence, I propose that the truly courageous join me in asking what we ourselves can do differently.

A core need of every human being is mattering to others. If children cannot get positive attention, they will seek negative attention. Interpersonal communication is a mandatory curriculum.  Our proficiency in this arena impacts every avenue of human interaction, yet how many ever receive formal education? We spend years teaching children to read and write but we call them names and punish them when they struggle on playgrounds absent education in conflict resolution. Is it any wonder these same children then do the same to one another as adults?

Free will does not mean we choose the assignment, merely the amount of suffering human beings endure until we learn to do things differently.  Need humanity scream louder than when a classroom of first graders is gunned down in broad daylight? I think not.

It is time we demonstrate greater respect for the arena of emotional intelligence and empower children and adults for success.  How do we get there? How do we make this shift?

We start by linking arms and acknowledging that emotional intelligence matters. We start by recognizing that not everyone begins the educational process with the same aptitude at the same starting line. We start by not ostracizing those most challenged. We start by ceasing name calling and embracing compassion. We start by availing the wisdom of third party educators passionate about interpersonal communication and optimistic about our potential for success. We start by retiring the impossibly impoverished paradigm of children simply “learning what they live” and better supporting those performing the most important job on earth.

This is our mission at Parenting 2.0. This is the reason “EQ elevated to IQ” was one of just nine panel discussions focusing on Life Skills at the P20 Talks Conference in San Diego, CA August of 2012. The world changes when we change.  Please join us today in being the change the world awaits.  Sign the Global Presence Pledge and expand your knowledge by embracing the wisdom of P20 Thought Leaders listed below. 

P20 Talks Thought Leaders:  Tara Kennedy-Kline, (author of Stop Raising Einstein), Roger Frame (author of Don’t Carve the Turkey with a Chainsaw),  Dr. Rosina McAlpine (author of Inspired Children) Diana Sterling (author of The Parent as Coach Approach), Sheryl Stoller, (Founder, Stoller Parent Coaching)

 

 

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Harriet Cabelly - January 2, 2013 Reply

Absolutely Fabulous post! Bravo!! I’m sharing this all over. I’m sure you’ve read Madeline Levine’s newest book, Teach Your Children Well and Paul Tough’s book, How Children Succeed.
This message needs to get there and be incorporated into the educational system in a most systemic way, the way grades and competition is outlandishly encouraged.

Francis McGrath - February 2, 2013 Reply

A wonderful article. I agree with Harriet completely. Emotional intelligence and learning to act cooperatively are much better skills than IQ and competition. Or at least should be treated as having equal standing.

I would also like to add that nutrition is very important in this area as foods can help and hinder the development of young brains. We need to learn enough about healthy nutrition to make sure we are not adding problems to childrens already steep learning curve.

Anxiety, stress, aggression, poor concentration and poor sleep can all be caused by poor nutrition.

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